Monday, May 2, 2011

Shame, or why I seem to have so little of it

There was a lively discussion on Piano World recently about a poster's participation in an amateur competition. The competition people sent him recordings of all his performances, and so he posted them. He was unhappy with some things, particularly a slightly insecure Appassionata performance, but IMO, they were great! Very impressive in many ways. Most reactions were positive, though there was some criticism (and one person even said the second movement of the Beethoven was "pretty bad"; the original poster luckily seems to have a thick skin).

Sometimes when I think about what I have posted here (and who knows who is listening), I feel pretty embarrassed, but I do it anyway. I know that my posted recordings are lacking in many (possibly most) respects. But I post them because I think they may be of interest to other amateur musicians who are struggling with the same issues. If I have no other goals available, I know I can always use this forum to give myself one.

So thanks for listening!

And speaking of listening, I am almost ready to record my current Bach WTC attempt. Coming soon . . .


Anonymous said...

As someone who has listened to all of the recordings you have posted here (even though I really don't care for classical music) I can tell you that you should never be embarrassed by your postings. You are very talented.

I post my decidedly amateur recordings on YouTube as a way of tracking my progress. When I go back and listen to some of them I wonder why in the world I ever posted them and how could I ever have thought they were any good. The answer is that these reflect the true, current state of my music. For better or worse.

Harriet said...

Thanks. I think a big part of playing music is having someone else listen to you because although it is to some extent a private enjoyment, it's also a form of self-expression. That's why you, and I, and most people who play have the desire to perform in some way.

And actually, if you look around the 'net, you will see that there are millions of other people sharing all sorts of things they create in hopes that they will in some way communicate their essences to other humans. It must be our social instinct at work.