"Where do you play?"

I get this question a lot. I'm never sure how to answer it.

I could say, "Mostly in my basement," which would be the truth. But I'm sure people really are asking where I perform, and I give my usual equivocating answer about freelancing, a couple of amateur groups, and so on.

However, most of what I consider my important music making is done in my basement, with my piano. "If you play the piano and no one listens to you, are you really playing?" I'd like to think I am. I've tried sending my recordings to family and friends, and I post some of them here, but I get little reaction so it's hard to tell if anyone actually listens to them. It's also a little remote, and definitely not the same as giving a live performance.

My husband keeps urging me to find a teacher and really pursue piano study. I feel like I am really pursuing it. I've made so much more progress and learned so much more in the past 5 or 6 years when I've been working on my own than I ever did when taking piano lessons. But I also feel that learning to play an instrument requires three basic things: absorption of knowledge (whether imparted by a teacher, by books, or by observation), practice of the mechanics, and performing. Though it's certainly true that a crucial part of the equation is the amount and quality of individual practice, lessons fulfill both the first and third aspect, and all are about equally important. None means much without the others.

Many adult students don't want to perform because they hate the fear and anxiety that are involved, but I believe it's crucial to do it -- because isn't that the whole point of playing? That is, music is meant to be listened to. You also discover how well you really know something when you play it front of someone else. It's also a form of communication, which I find sorely lacking in my life (even with all the blogging, tweeting, and facebooking going on everywhere).

I would like to play the piano someplace in addition to my basement, but I have not figured out how to go about it. I joined the Adult Music Student Forum a couple of years ago, fully intending to perform as much as I could, but somehow it never works out that I have time to either attend an event or to prepare for it. I've played at only two events in the entire time I've been a member. I've hesitated to arrange for lessons because I don't know how to find someone who's both simpatico (i.e., someone who is both kind and knowledgable -- IOW, a good teacher!) and who is willing to teach an adult student.

And so I continue to waffle and wait. And play the piano in the basement.